October 27th, 2007

Sad

What I miss most now

Domafox here. Once again I am on a quiet night with everyone out again. Basically everyone gets to hang out with friends and have a good time, some of them fursuit while others just find a way to get off the machine.

Well I didn't get to spend time doing anything today, not even go bowling because I got suckered into house work again by my dad before the winter hits. *sighs*

So I have been thinking a lot about my octobers of the last two years now of what I did in the end of those months that makes me feel better of myself then.

In October of 2005, I made my first trip to a furry con which was Conifur in Seattle. I met natedowg333 hkr and monoceros for the first time since we met online at Furtopia. I had a great time to unwind and forget about the stress of college and hang out with people I felt comfortable being with since a long time. I haven't seen Nate since then in a long time and I know I won't be able to meet up with him at MFF since I am not able to make it. Mono and Misha I met again in seattle when firewolf66 and I made a road trip towards there and hung out with them at the arcade, Gameworks. Its been a long time since I last saw and spoke to them.

In October of 2006, I had a chance to get out in my fursuit and just enjoy myself with Rexwolf and Siege when they were still together. I enjoyed the time I had inside the building of U of Idaho's dorm apartments and entertaining the kids and students there. As of now I lost all contact with Rexwolf since his departure from the fandom and break up with Siege.

This year, I am back to where I was when I moved up to Idaho. No friends to hang out with nor anything better to do to unwind from the stress of college. I sometimes wonder why every local fur I know is no longer in the state to hang out anymore. Everyone I know has practically moved out of state to someplace else for better careers or just leaving their families to start a new life.

Its starting to feel like the lonely life I had back in 2005 when I first joined the fandom and started feeling left out whenever furiends I know closely were out to hang out with other furs.

Some of you would suggest that I try and find non-furs to hang out with instead, its not going to happen as easilly because I just don't feel comfortable about it a whole lot, plus other people I know at the campus I just don't know that well personally to hang out with them or have a click that is outside furries.

The thoughts of being lonely is something I never want to experience again, it has hurt me for several years later when I moved to Idaho and leaving all my friends in Colorado behind.

So brings us to the topic, what do I miss most now? I miss the companionship of friends in real life. I know I will get that chance again at FC, but I wish it could happen more often in my life in my home area. Living the life as a loner in my town is not something I want to have in my future to come.

That is all for this reflection, Domafox signing out.
  • Current Mood
    lonely lonely